Every friendship begins as a chance encounter. In an accident of time and place, the universe throws beings together like stars in a constellation. You are seated next to someone in the first grade. You grow up living across the street from someone. You board your horses at the same stables. You wander into someone’s class. A stranger finds her way across your doorstep.
But proximity is only the first element to the equation. There must be some sort of magnetic field or shared wavelength that creates a charge of attraction between individuals. In every potential friend there is a flash of something you admire in yourself and aspire to for yourself and vice versa. The more intense the flash, the deeper the possibility for the friendship. The attachment may last only a school year or it may span several lifetimes. It may withstand squabbles and frustrations or splinter through misunderstanding, betrayal or mere geographical distance.
A friendship requires time and tending to. There is an inherent responsibility in being a friend and a heightened sense of empathy between friends. A good friend knows when to talk and when to listen, knows when to nudge and when to push and when to just leave it alone. A good friend encourages you and gives you courage, with a critically clear, yet uncritical ear and eye. A good friend shows patience with your challenges and strikes a complement to your strengths and lacks. She glows in your joys and grieves in your sorrows.
Just as stars are measured in magnitude, friendships, too, have degrees of brilliance. In the most brilliant, individuals remain intrigued, inspired and ignited by one another. The light of each glances off the other and each is the brighter for it.
In the best of friendships, the facets of flexibility, honesty and forgiveness perpetually shimmer through and the relationship is recognised and valued for the true mystery and gift that it is. In the best of friendships, individuals within a constellation help sustain and uphold one other in the radiant, enigmatic message they spell out together across the heavens.
Shine On
To those friends with whom I once shared a sky, I am thankful for our time spent in orbit together. I hope you have gathered a more sparkling star…
Into the darkness
The sun came up.
The sun went down.
In that space
I was only breathing,
Standing in the shadows.
To those friends with whom I now share a sky and orbit, I pray I may always be the illuminating, grounding and gravitational force for you that you are for me…
Into the darkness
The sun came up.
The sun went down.
In that space
I was only breathing,
Translucent in your light.